dry run

I originally planned to work until contractions start coming. Since Ramil and I work together, it sounded more sensible to continue going to work rather than being alone at home. However, I overestimated myself as a teacher or rather I underestimated the work of a teacher. I found myself very stressed during the latter months of ‘06. The physical demands of a teacher was nothing to me but the emotional and mental demands were another thing. I found myself being so stressed because I had so much work I wanted to do, both at home and in school, that I couldn’t seem to do. I wasn’t as fast and as sharp I guess because my body and mind were too preoccupied with the pregnancy. So by December ‘06, I finally told our Center Director that I wanted to take my leave by January. So now Ramil’s cellphone is his constant companion even while conducting a class, hehe!

Whenever people ask me what our plans are when the baby comes, I always tell them that after giving birth, we plan to spend 2 weeks in my parents’ house in Quezon City and then we are going back to our place in Taytay. They would usually ask me who will be staying with me and the baby. I always get an open-eyed look whenever I tell them that we don’t plan to get any help (and a lot of unsolicited insights/advice that it will be difficult not to have anyone with me). Very encouraging! I realize how big an adjustment it would be but I’ve always been the type who likes to try out things for myself first. Both future lolas are almost insisting that it is NOT so okay to be left at home with just the baby with me. I think they are just trying to brainwash us into moving back to QC, sometimes telling us outright to move in back with them, ha! I always tell my mama that I would ask for help if somewhere along the way, I feel the need to.

So the past few days have been a trial period for me, a dry run. I would spend the day doing household chores: doing the laundry, cleaning the house, cooking, etc. I would also walk around the subdivision for around 30 minutes after Ramil leaves for work. I am also able to find nap time (1-2 hours) during the day. I still find myself physically tired but relaxed, emotionally and mentally. And I now feel optimistic about being a stay-at-home mom. I know a baby takes up a lot of time but if I enjoy being a wife-at-home surely, it would be more enjoyable having Mateo with me.