a different practice

Posted on March 2, 2007

I belong to a Roman Catholic family. My mom is what you may call a slightly devout Catholic - she goes to mass every Sunday, a member of a Catholic ministry group, used to be a choir leader, etc. When we were smaller she influenced us also to participate in church activities. We were members of the choir also and I was a member of a group of cathecist who teach kids about the bible, etc. during summer.

Towards the end of my high school days, however, I had a 'falling out' with my religion. Although I still believe strongly in its teachings, it felt like being a member of a hypocritical group. I started seeing a lot of contradictions in leaders of the church with its teachings. Since a lot of people go to mass although they don't practice what is being preached, I didn't feel compelled to continue going every Sunday. Hence, I stopped practicing my faith the way it is supposed to be practiced. I practiced it my own way. I stopped going to mass though I still go to church. I love being inside a church when everything is quiet and you can hear your thoughts, you can pray solemnly, you can reflect more effectively, and you can feel God's presence as you pray. I stopped praying the 'formula' prayers instead, I talked to Him. My prayers turned conversational, I was praying more often, and I fully understood what I was saying to Him. I didn't have a change of faith, I changed how I practiced it. I still think I am a Catholic because I still believe in its teachings.

Funny thing was, Ramil and I felt exactly the same way about our religion. We would be voicing out the same sentiments about it. Hence, no one was forcing anyone to go to mass or do this or do that. We were free in our practice and yet, we felt closer to God more than ever. We don't think we are 'bad' Catholics, we don't feel that we are. Because so far, God has continuously responded to our prayers even though it wasn't said in the context of a mass. He has consistently looked after our small family despite the fact that we rarely go to mass (almost never?)

One of our concerns before was how to raise our kid believing in God. Ramil and I were both raised in the traditional Catholic way. We're not really sure. But Mateo will grow up learning that there is a God, whether it's called Buddha, or Jesus, or Yahweh, or Allah, or whatever name he wants. What's important is he learns to treat people right, however way he wants to practice his faith is up to him.