death of a loved one

Whenever someone you know died or someone you know lost a loved one, it usually makes you reflective of how you are showing your appreciation for the people around you. We've had several deaths in the family but the only death that made me really grieve for months was the death of our then 4-month-old golden retriever Eddy. I've lost my grandfather on my mother's side and my grandmother on my father's side but I was never really that close to them to feel that kind of grief that makes you cry uncontrollably. It's funny that my first real experience of grieving was over a puppy.

Eddy died of a sickness, Leptospirosis. When I got news of his death, I was having dinner in Fazoli's with Ramil and Jeng. The vet was the one who called me, my mama couldn't bring herself to tell me that he's dead already. I still remember the feeling of pain upon being told that he's already gone. I cried really loudly, not minding that other customers in the restaurant could hear me. My mind kept saying 'no, no'. It felt like losing somebody really close to me. Even though we bought the puppy for my papa, he was mine and he knows it too. He would eagerly approach me and almost go crazy trying to put his legs around my legs whenever I'd go home. I have never cuddled and treated a dog with so much love as I have Eddy. I grieved over him for months. I'd cry upon seeing other goldens which are a lot in HEdcen (the school I work for). Ramil had a hard time consoling me everytime I'd cry.

I consider myself lucky to have undergone this grieving process only once, not to mention that it was just a dog I lost not a person. I know it's inevitable that there will come a time when I would experience again this kind of pain over losing someone. Because of Eddy, the fear that one of those days might come soon is lodged solidly in my mind and heart. Life is indeed too short. For now, all I can do is enjoy each day given to me and to appreciate the people in my lives right now.