going full-time

Posted on June 4, 2008

When I was still pregnant with Mateo, I was sure I wanted to be the one to take care of him. I left the decision of resigning up in the air and thought of not making a decision until things settle down and everything is clearer. I gave birth on a January, which actually leaves two more school months for me. Since the two months maternity leave would end just when classes has ended, I decided to simply resign.

Since I gave birth last January 2007 until May 2007, it was just Ramil, Mateo, and me. No helper, no yaya, no nearby relatives to help us out. We were on our own and we were proud first-timers. When May drew to a close, however, I played around with the idea of teaching on a part-time basis. Although I love staying home with Mateo, I missed teaching and I missed the kids. It was more than just a job for me and that’s when I realized that I want to be a teacher for a long time, that it’s the work I want to do. So I made arrangements with the school, found and trained a yaya for Mateo, then started teaching once again when June came. My classes were from 1:30-4:00 pm, giving me just around three hours away from my baby. The arrangement worked perfectly. I was able to do two things that I love, being a mother and teaching.

The school year ended with some people in school asking if I’m willing to work on a full-time basis this coming school year. A lot of math teachers resigned and it would help a lot if I can work longer hours. It was a seesaw of arguments with myself during the summer months. Ramil and I tried to think of a system we could use to accommodate a full-time workload for me. When Mateo’s yaya left and then sent a text message that she won’t be returning anymore, I wanted to go full-time - as a mom. Since I already expressed my intent to work as a part-time teacher, I was left with no choice but to look for a yaya. The yaya hunt almost left me looking like I took a lot of weight loss pills with the stress I was feeling. Good thing we found one, I just hope we found a good one.

Last weekend, Ramil and I was able to agree on a schedule for us - his work hours will be from 7:30 am to 3:30 pm while my work hours will be from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, both of us working full-time. After much consideration, including our financial state, we’ve finally decided that I’ll be going back to teaching full-time. It was a hard decision. I’ve cried about it every night after informing the school about it last Monday. If I let myself dwell on what it entails, I’d start feeling this ache in my heart and I would feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching and I am actually excited to once again be a part of the school. I will miss the times though when it was just Mateo and me at home. I will miss doing everything for him and with him. My only consolation is that I will be bringing Mateo and the yaya with me in school. They will be staying in the library until the daycare center the school is planning is usable already. It’s a good thing that Mateo loves going around the school and that he knows almost everyone in school already. I get to visit him anytime during the day. At least we still get to see each other even though I am technically at work.

I just really pray that he and the yaya get along really well soon. They’re okay right now but it would ease my mind big time once they love each other already. I really hope that Mateo adjusts to the set-up really well. I can’t believe he now ‘goes to school’ from 9:00am to 3:00pm. Beats any pre-school student. And to think he’s only a year and four months old. I don’t know whether to be proud of my boy for being so ‘grown-up’ about it or to cry because it seems that he’s not a baby anymore. I hope that when classes start we all won’t be stressed with the arrangements. I really hope too that Mateo knows I love him just as much even if we’re going to spend less time together.

» Filed Under Mateo, Motherhood, On Me, Ramblings Tags: Tags:baby, home, mother, teaching, working, yaya