Even before Ramil and I got together, I knew I wanted to have at least three children. The key word is ‘at least’ because four is the magic number for me. This was back when I was still living with my parents, when I had no idea of the average monthly expenses of a household, when gas was at PhP 26 per liter and rice was at PhP 20 per kilogram, when I was on a scholarship and I didn’t have an idea of how much tuition costs, and when my experience with small kids is limited to borrowing somebody else’s baby to play with and then returning them when I’m already tired of looking after them.

When Ramil and I were planning to get married, we agreed to have at least three or four if we can. Sounds good to me. However, the next four months after I gave birth to Mateo, I seriously considered settling for just one. We didn’t have a yaya for the first six months and it was just Mateo and me as soon as Ramil goes off to work. I experienced withdrawal from “singlehood” which to me, means doing anything I want, anytime I want. Our life, schedule, and budget, were suddenly dictated by the smallest and newest member of our family.

Things changed when Mateo turned one. Despite experiencing the usual difficulties of new parents, the joys of having a baby are undeniable. We found ourselves talking of having another one.

The next question we needed to address was when? My theory on firstborns is that it’s best to have an ‘ate’ because girls are more inclined to be nurturing and they mature faster than boys but if it’s a ‘kuya’, it’s best to wait until the child is older. So our plan is to make Mateo a ‘kuya’ when he’s around three or four already. Not to mention that I still have five pounds to lose before I get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I told Ramil that I am not willing to have another baby until I’ve gone back to my old weight. I need proof that I can go back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Taking diets pills like alli is not an option.

Since Mateo is turning two on January, I guess we could try having another baby late next year. I actually feel excited with the thought of having another one. It’s still a long time from now but we hope to plan carefully for it by saving and preparing Mateo for it.

Last April, Ramil upgraded his laptop’s system memory for his birthday. Now that he’s thinking of selling it, it’s the only thing that’s keeping him from going through with selling it. It’s a shame that his laptop and mine have different specifications for the memory. It would have been a good option to just transfer the memory he bought to my laptop before selling his laptop. Right now, he’s postponing selling his laptop. My dad will be going home soon and told me he’ll give me his 10″ laptop because he bought a new one. So we’re thinking of just keeping his laptop just in case.

I’ve always wondered what my ‘children’ (my students) will be when they grow up. I always feel overwhelmed whenever I think of them as future lawyers, doctors, engineers, teachers, or even a president! It’s so exciting knowing that they can be anything they want to be and that they have their whole future ahead of them. Now that I have a real child of my own, I get the same feeling.

Ramil and I promised each other that we will never dictate what Mateo will be. We will only try our best to expose him to as many possibilities as we can and it’s going to be up to him to choose which of the many possibilities he wants.

So right now, he can be anything he wants to be, anytime…

a doctor?

a painter?

a singer?

a chessmaster?

a guitar player?

a writer?

a computer programmer/expert/engineer?

a swimmer?

a fireman?

a basketball player?

or…

a superhero?

For now, it’s all a surprise for us.

The other day, on our way to school, we saw a giant inflatable Snowman. It immediately caught Mateo’s attention and I told him it’s Frosty the Snowman. I proceeded to sing the song and he smilingly watched me and tried to do the same. That started his fancy for Christmas songs.

The next day, I went to YouTube to look for more Christmas songs. He immediately loved ‘Santa Claus is coming to town’ and ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’. I’d sing along and make up some actions for the song and our little boy would gamely sing our certain words and copy my actions. Now I hope to find some free christmas songs so that he could listen to them more. Who knows, he might be able to go caroling this year.

Earlier today is the sportsfest of the Preschool department in our school and every year, the grade school and high school departments are asked to help out. I brought Mateo along so he can watch children, some just slightly bigger than him, play around in the mud. While waiting for the activities to start, Mateo saw a round object which he immediately went closer to. It so happened that the thing he found was a small, heavy rock wrapped in masking tape which was to be used in the shot put. Of course, I let Mateo try it out.

Earlier, I asked Ramil whether we will bring up Mateo believing in Santa Claus. He answered by saying that we will bring up Mateo in a realistic way. Of course, that prompted protests from me. Even though I never totally believed in Santa Claus, I grew up with the illusion of him. My sister, brother, and I would often make a list of the things we’d like to ask from Santa Claus. On Christmas Eve, after eating our Christmas Eve dinner, we’d eagerly try to sleep in the hopes that we’ll have the items in our list when we wake up the next day. We even have our own Christmas socks for Santa to put his gifts in. Mateo is still a bit young to really comprehend the concept of Santa Claus but he knows and recognizes him already. I guess the question of whether we’ll make him believe the whole story of Santa Claus and who Santa Claus is can wait until next Christmas.

Working as a caregiver is very popular nowadays. I know someone who took a short course on caregiving and willingly left her family to work somewhere else as a caregiver. She’d tell me stories about the old people she’d take care of. She works for a service similar to the Fort Lauderdale Home Health Care. They offer home health care services for those recovering from surgery, hip replacement, stroke, or those with Alzheimer’s, cancer, and many more. I always get sad whenever I hear about those old people who can’t take care of themselves anymore. I almost always wish that I don’t get old and reach the same situation they are in. Who wants to wear adult diapers or to forget your own name or to need someone to feed you? It almost makes me want to die before I even reach that point. That’s also the reason why I admire those who work as caregivers. It’s difficult taking care of people who are sick and old. It’s even more difficult if you’re not even related to the person you’re taking care of.

Cooking has never been my forte. When I was still living with my parents, even though my mom let me cook sometimes, I’ve always preferred eating rather than preparing the food. I’m one of those who’d sometimes lose appetite over food I’ve cooked or prepared so I’d often steer clear of cooking so that I could do some eating.

It was a different matter when Ramil and I got married. Since there were just the two of us, I couldn’t delegate the task of cooking to anybody else. I slowly transformed from a prito person to a four-dish person to an anything-goes person. Good thing I was never the type who needs appreciation for her cooking because my husband, a food person, never gives false praises over food.

Based on my self-assessment, I am now an average cook. Although I would love to be more experimental and to be more diverse in my cooking, lack of time prevents me from trying to do so. However, Christmas is almost here and since Ramil and I have agreed to go on house arrest for the most part of the Christmas break, my cooking skills and imagination will be challenged once again.

Major hurdle would be our Christmas eve dinner. I have no idea yet what to put on our menu! I wouldn’t want to prepare something that would make me want to take the best fat burner. Not to mention that I have two people, Ramil and Mateo, who can be very particular about taste.

Sometimes I wonder whether it’s worth it to go through the hassle of preparing just for the three of us. I’m sometimes tempted to just get something from somewhere. Anything that we’re sure would taste great. Nevertheless, it might actually be fun and enriching for me. I’m considering it a challenge. For now.

It’s halfway through November and I’m only making my Christmas list. I’ve started listing the people to whom we’re going to give gifts to and the possible gifts we could give them. It’s very easy to buy gifts for some people on my list but others would be a real challenge. My brother might prove to be the most challenging of them all this year. If I had the budget, I’d get him some Maxpedition Gear. Unfortunately, it’s going to be a really tight Christmas this year so I’m hoping to find something more affordable for him.

My mom, on the other hand, used to be easy to buy gifts for but the many gifts I’ve given her makes it more and more difficult each year. The one person I could easily buy gifts for is Mateo. I’d walk into a store and surely, I’d be able to see something for him. As for Ramil and me, we’ve thought of just having a total DVD shopping spree for us. We’ll stock up on DVDs to watch over the Christmas break and maybe until the summer break.

I still have a lot of people to put on my list and I just hope I find the time to finish it before December comes rolling in. It’s terrible to do last minute shopping a week before Christmas with the huge crowds in malls and bazaars.

Again, we are two weeks away from our school’s second trimestral exams. I’ve blogged time and again to rant about the stress brought about by deadlines like these that comes with our work. I have four more test to make before tomorrow. Whew! It’s a blessing that I have a wonderful husband who’s also going through the same thing (which means he understands me fully) and a busy toddler who always likes things to do with us (which means he distracts us from work whenever we’re home). Even though the toddler also keeps us from working at home as much as we’d want to, we realize that he’s there to keep us sane, to prevent us from working too much at home so that we don’t get as burned out.

We’re counting the weeks until Christmas break and after that, it’s going to be another countdown to summer break. Somewhere in between are all the deadlines that make the breaks so much worth it.