Ramil and I are thankful that Mateo is never the type to get jealous of other kids and babies. Even if I carry other babies or we show affection for other kids, he never saw anything wrong with it. We knew that getting ready for another baby goes beyond buying baby stuff, picking out a name, checking out our life insurance rate, eating healthy food, or keeping our bodies fit. We knew we had to prepare Mateo as well, mentally and emotionally.

We are realistic that it would be totally different once the baby is with us every day and he’d really feel that the baby takes away some of the attention. This is why we are preparing him for being a big brother. Even with my previous pregnancy, Mateo knew about it from the start. He was very much involved with it. He’d lovingly touch and kiss my tummy as well. He knew he was going to be a ‘kuya’ and insisted that he wanted a baby sister and not a baby brother. He was also aware when we lost the baby and what he knows he is that his baby sister is now in heaven.

Although we were initially hesitant to involve him as much with this one, for fear that we might lose the baby again, we still slowly let him in on it. Nowadays he’d often be the one to remind me to take care of the baby. He’d sometimes tell me ‘baka matamaan si baby’ when I was transferring our ironing board, or ‘stop dancing mama, gulog-gulog si baby’ when I danced to the music of Lion King.

I would ‘brainwash’ him by asking him if he’ll help mama take care of the baby when the baby comes. I’d even gently remind him to be the one to teach our baby how to do stuff or even what not to do. The first thing he came up with when I asked what he will tell the baby is the rule ‘no slippers in the play area’ – although it showed that he was already looking out for his domain, it was good enough for me.

I also tried talking to him about breastfeeding by telling him that the baby will drink his milk from me. He answered by saying he wants to as well. He was initially adamant that he and the baby get a breast each but he slowly relented every time we would talk about it. I would remind him that he now drinks his milk from the glass because that’s how big boys do it and that only little babies drink from mama.

I’d like to think that he’s slowly as early as now but of course, the real test comes once the baby arrives. I just hope our little kuya won’t find it too difficult.