Today, we’ve had our first ‘casualties’. Although I’ve posted the list of the items we still have to sell and some people have already committed to buying them, all of the items are still actually with us. Until today.

The microwave stand was picked up this afternoon and we spent the morning removing its contents and dusting it off. While starting on the task, I gently touched it and softly said goodbye. It was one of the first purchases Ramil and I made when we were setting up house during the first few days of our married life. Yes, it was just a microwave stand but it held a lot of promise and memories for us. We reminisced our efforts in assembling it and how I always used to designate its cleaning to Ramil (which he always dreaded).

Our little boy, who has always have high empathy, went to ‘hug’ the stand upon hearing me saying goodbye to it. We saw him trying to hide his face and his little mouth curling. He walked to me, hid his face behind my back, and proceeded to gently brush his face across my back. Ramil and I exchanged looks, sensing that our little guy was getting sentimental as well. Ramil moved closer to Mateo to hug him and upon hugging Ramil, Mateo let out a huge sigh and then tears just poured from his eyes. We could see and feel him trying to control himself as he continued his quiet sobs. And my heart was broken.

I think Mateo is understanding more than he is letting on. He feels how huge and how difficult this whole thing is for me and for Ramil. I know I can never shield him from things like these so we try to just make it easier for him with our presence and assurances.

So we had our first item off today. An unplanned sale even occurred because when the person buying the stand dropped by, she asked us what else we are selling. Upon seeing a side table, she asked if it was for sale. I said yes but that I didn’t know how to describe it in my list. She offered to buy it and just like that, we got rid of two items today.

Ramil reassured me with comforting hugs and promises that we’ll have our dream pretty soon. Maybe in a few years we’ll be able to build our house with little details that we’ll want like Grohe faucets, kitchen cabinets, and many more. I said that this whole thing is like a purging of some sort. God is really making us let go of almost every material thing that we have and worked for. To be honest, I don’t see any logic in it which makes me realize that God is simply asking us to let go of everything and to let Him.