Category Archives: Breastfeeding

slooow weaning

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At 14 months, Mateo still feeds from my breasts. Although he also takes in formula milk whenever I’m not home, I can say that for the past 14 months, he gets his milk from me 70% of the time. Until a few weeks ago, a 900-gram can of formula milk would last for more than a month. Recently though, we find ourselves buying a new can every three weeks. It seems that Mateo is slowly shifting his milk preference. I think we’re on our way to a really slow weaning process.

To be honest, I never thought we’d last this long. I still remember my frustrations at pumping during the first few months, the blessing of losing my pump’s valve, finally finding joy in breastfeeding, and my attempts to wean him at seven months which ended up in relactation. I’ve reached a point when I just let him feed whenever he wants to. I’ve decided to just sit and wait for him to wean himself. I figured that he will, eventually. There were days when he would refuse to feed from me and I would get all sentimental about it. Now I know that weaning doesn’t just spell freedom for me, it also means losing just a little bit of my baby. Sure, I could still feed him from the bottle while cuddling or holding him but there’s nothing more intimate and close than having him at my breast. It was something that nobody else could offer. It’s a form of nourishment and comfort that only I could offer. But my baby is slowly becoming more independent.

I think Mateo senses this sadness that I would sometimes feel whenever I think about not being able to breastfeed him anymore. I’d like to think that he also chose this slow weaning process to make it easy on both of us. I’ve heard of some babies who are weaned overnight but I couldn’t imagine such a thing for us. Nowadays, there are times when he would ask for the bottle and there are times when he would ask for my breast. The times when he would prefer the bottle though, is slowly increasing. His milk budget is also getting a bigger chunk of our monthly income.

Considering his milk preference these past few days, my fearless forecast is that he would be completely weaned in a month’s time, maybe earlier. Saddens me a little but I also look forward to it. Whatever happens, I know he’s still going to be a mama’s boy.

still bfing

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I don't know whether I should say fortunately or unfortunately, but Mateo still breastfeeds from me. Though I had initial breastfeeding difficulties, he now prefers to feed from me despite the fact I would want to wean him already. Am I bad for wanting this? There are times now when he would nurse and I think it's not really to drink milk anymore. Well, he still gets majority of his milk from me but sometimes, I'd doubt whether he's still getting any. Despite my feelings, I would still sometimes feel great that he still breastfeeds. He's a very healthy baby, never been sick except for his inborn UTI and one incidence of colds, so I guess I could still prolong this thing.

the road to relactation

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A few months before Mateo turned six months, our little guy refused to nurse from me. I would offer my breasts to him at every opportunity and yet he'd turn away from it. As if he was disgusted. LOL. I initially approached the situation with much determination – Mateo WILL feed from me.
After a few days and numerous frustrated words, the little one made me cry in surrender. I tried to convince myself that six months of breastfeeding is more than enough. I was saddened thinking that my boy is indeed growing up. I finally made a conscious decision to wean him from my breast. I was resigned to letting him drink ounces of formula milk. I was prepared to shell out more money to buy more milk. I started looking forward to freedom from breastfeeding, like being able to leave Mateo for more than a few hours or finally going on a diet I've been planning since I gave birth. 
Mateo has other plans though, almost immediately after I made that decision, he decided otherwise. He started rejecting the bottle and nursing from my breast until my nipples hurt. As if trying to make up for the times he rejected me. As the days went by, he'd take less and less milk from the bottle even when I'm not at home. 
Nowadays, he'd take an average of 2 ounces from the bottle. He rarely finishes a whole bottle now but would eagerly feed from my breast when offered. This has prompted me to work on getting my milk back. A lot of work is being done by the consumer with all the sucking he's been doing. I've been helping him by drinking Anmum Lacta, Natalac, iron supplements, and calcium supplements – all prescribed by his pediatrician. Most of the time, I feel like I don't have enough milk especially when I try to pump. But my baby is very active and looks very healthy so I'm not very worried. Plus he drinks hungrily from me every time which can only mean that I have milk, right?
Just when I thought that my milk supply is diminishing and my breastfeeding days will soon be over. It's quite the opposite actually since Mateo has never really rejected the bottle before. So now, I can't leave him for long lest he starves himself by rejecting the bottle. A small part inside me is happy though. Happy that he'd continue getting breastmilk which is best until two years of age. There's even a tiny egotistic side of me that's happy because my baby still wants me. Hehe!
I never thought I'd be able to successfully breastfeed him for this long. Looks like the two of us will be aiming for the 12-month mark. After that, we'll see… 

the joy of breastfeeding

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Mateo has been 80% breastfed since three weeks ago when I stopped pumping. Since I wasn't feeding him breastmilk from the bottle anymore, I was forced to feed him directly more often. It turned out to be the best thing that happened to our breastfeeding situation.

During that week, Mateo would consume 12 ounces of formula in a 24-hour period and the rest would be from me. Whenever he is hungry I would try breastfeeding him first. There were times when he would refuse my breast and would eagerly accept the bottle. I never thought the feeling of 'rejection' would be real for me. I came close to crying a lot of times. I know it was stupid but I took it personally, I couldn't help it. Sometimes there would be a battle of wills: me trying desperately to breastfeed Mateo, Mateo absolutely refusing my breast, me letting him cry it out, and finally after a few minutes of wailing, he would grudgingly feed from me. Most of the time though, he wins. I could only take so much of my baby's cries.We have successfully decreased Mateo's intake of formula since then. What used to be 12 ounces has been brought down to 8 ounces, sometimes less. Hurray to us! It is only now that I get to appreciate the whole experience of breastfeeding. I could almost preen and gloat whenever Mateo would fall asleep while feeding from me, so peaceful and content. The silent gloating would continue for as long as he's asleep. The longer he sleeps, the more silent gloating I do. Hehe! If some mothers experience some kind of 'battle' for the babies affection with the yaya, I imagine myself having my own battle with the can of formula milk. I am ecstatic to report that I am winning. And I am getting more than what I expected. I find myself drawn more and more to Mateo. I now firmly believe in the mother-child 'bond' that breastfeeding helps form. I feel an overflowing feeling of happiness whenever I bring Mateo to my breast. I love gazing at him while he feeds. Now I am even grateful I was stupid enough to lose my breastpump's white valve.During Mateo's first few weeks of life, I was depressed that I seem to be failing at something I was intent on doing. I settled for whatever breastmilk I could give him. I told myself just a few weeks is better than nothing. Well, the weeks turned to a month, a month turned to two, and now, I am gearing for at least 6 months of breastfeeding. Better if we could drag it out until Mateo turns one. I'm sure our baby's up to it because I definitely am.

pumping no more

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It's just nurse-supplement for Mateo and me! We were actually forced into this situation because I can't use my Avent pump anymore.

The original white valve of my pump got a tear on it a few weeks ago and it keeps on detaching itself after a few seconds of pumping. The pump comes with a spare valve and I've been using it since then. Stupid me, I lost the new valve when I disassembled the pump and sterilised it last week. I tried using the old valve but the pumping sessions elicit a lot of curse words from me. What used to be 15-20 minutes of pumping has stretched to 30-45 minutes because I keep on attaching the valve again. So I gave up pumping. I didn't think it would be a blessing in disguise.

Mateo has been mostly feeding directly from me since I stopped pumping. Yey! I didn't realize pumping my milk has been preventing me from directly breastfeeding. Without any other means of giving Mateo breastmilk, I was forced to put him to my breast at every chance I get. Now, I really think he's getting more breastmilk and I think my milk supply is slowly increasing. Still not enough to go pure though, he would still get frustrated at times and I would succumb and give him formula. Wawa naman e, parang gutom na gutom. Hehe!

So I am retiring my pump now. I could buy a new valve and my pump would be as good as new but I am happier feeding Mateo now. Anybody who wants it, I would be willing to give it for a really cheap price, just let me know by leaving a comment or by email ;)

breastfeeding update

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I haven't been successful in weaning Mateo from the bottle and being able to breastfeed him 100%. Though he is taking in a lot of breastmilk. We have a lazy suckler on our hands and he just gets so frustrated whenever he feeds from me and he is very hungry. Although my milk supply is still low, I am able to pump enough so that he gets pure breastmilk during the day and only takes formula at night. We've noticed an advantage also of letting him take formula during the night, he usually sleeps longer. Since formula takes longer to digest than breastmilk, we opted to give it during the night. Otherwise, we would have to get up more to feed him. I also let him feed from me during the day, when we are both more patient. Hehe! My only consolation with our feeding set-up right now is that Mateo still gets the benefits of drinking breastmilk ;)

nurse-pump-supplement

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This is the vicious cycle that we are trapped in. So far, I haven't been successful in giving Mateo 100% breastmilk. The whole thing is getting too frustrating! I find myself nursing him at times then giving him formula when he gets frustrated also because of the low milk supply/slow milk flow. I am back to trying to pump every two hours to try to boost my milk supply. Whenever Mateo is awake and hungry, I try to nurse him in between those pumping sessions. The thought of just giving in and quitting has crossed my mind more than once. It takes way too much effort to do all three (nurse-pump-supplement). I get to experience only a small portion of the pros and a lot of the cons of each one. Any advice/suggestions from breastfeeding/pumping mommies out there would be highly appreciated ;)

I have a plan, actually. My strategy right now would be to continue pumping until my milk supply is enough for Mateo. I only get 1-2 ounces of breastmilk for every 15-minute pumping session. Definitely not enough for our milk guzzler who can consume 4 ounces per feeding. Good thing that Mateo is not choosy when it comes to his milk, since he was introduced early to both, he doesn't mind shifting from breastmilk to formula even in one feeding session. Another thing I'm grateful for is his latch. I think we kind of got it down to pat now. We both have gotten the hang of it, it doesn't hurt anymore except during times when he gets really frustrated he would pull and 'bite' down on my nipple just to extract more milk.

I need more willpower for this.

moo

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We are currently struggling right now with breastfeeding. I say we because it has been a team effort so far, Me, Mateo, and Ramil. Mateo has successfully fed from me yesterday. Or so I thought.

Whenever he wakes up, it's usually because he's hungry. He usually wakes up every 2 hours more or less. He would cry, indicating that he is hungry. I've been trying to let him feed directly from me since the other day but I've been having problems satisfying his hunger. Ramil ends up making him around 2 oz. of formula milk after 10-15 minutes of trying to feed from me. I really don't know whether he is getting a lot of milk from those 10-15 minutes. Maybe the problem is my milk supply? or the way he's been suckling is not very effective in terms of getting the milk? Maybe it's both because he has developed a lazy habit of letting the milk flow into his mouth whenever he is drinking from his bottle and his milk intake seems to increase every day! Whenever I pump, I usually get 50-60 ml of breastmilk, or almost 2 oz. I am still fixed on the idea of feeding him 100% breastmilk so right now, I try to pump as much as I can so that we have breastmilk to give him after feeding from me. I guess it will be a test of wills as early as now. Hehe!

More on my breastfeeding situation later, gotta go pump.