getting Barney-fied

Posted on February 19, 2008 by alaherrera

I grew up watching Sesame Street and Batibot. Although I’ve heard of Barney, I never really knew him until I started teaching and met English-speaking (complete with a twang) grade-schoolers who grew up loving Barney. It seems that Barney has reached a kiddie star status close to that of Jollibee’s. Really, what’s with big butts and weird colors (purple/orange)?

That’s why even before I gave birth, I vehemently told my sister not to buy her future nephew any Barney CD’s. Other educational videos are okay but I draw the line with Barney. Unfortunately, some former officemates gifted Mateo with four Barney VCD’s during his baptism. Not wanting to be ungrateful, we took them home of course – and I stored them deep inside our bookshelf.

I planned on never introducing Mateo to Barney but during one crazy afternoon, I decided to try and see how our little guy would react to the much-hyped purple dinosaur. Things went downhill from there, little did I know that I have unwittingly started a Barneyfication of our household. Just a few minutes into the video, Mateo was already dancing along to the song Mister Sun and pumping his arms to the sound of Chuggy, chuggy. He loves running to me for a hug once he hears ‘…with a great big hug…’ The VCD never left our DVD player for the rest of the week. He’d watch the same CD at least once a day. I admit that we were at fault too, he really enjoys it and it keeps him still for at least thirty minutes even if being still means dancing and singing along in front of the TV.

Worse, before the week ended, I knew the lyrics of almost each and every Barney song on the video. I’d often find myself with a song stuck in my mind. It’s good that Barney comes in handy at times. Mateo’s first haircut was bloodless and hassle-free thanks to Barney. During times when Mateo would act up, Barney would be our last resort in trying to pacify him. Barney’s place in our house got sealed last Saturday when we went to SM and bought a Sing and Dance Barney VCD and Barney’s Favorites volume 1 audio CD. He’s set to invade our car too, you know.

Lest you think that all Mateo knows is Barney, he also knows Pablo, Tyrone, Tasha, Uniqua, and Austin. If you know them too then high-five to you! Last week though, Ramil and I made a conscious decision to limit the amount of time of Mateo’s exposure to TV. Sadly, it also means less TV time for everyone in the house. He now gets around two hours of TV time daily, more than half of which is on Barney.

As for me, I have come to accept Barney into our lives. At least Mateo gets to dance and sing along to songs about colors, shapes, numbers, and the alphabet.

my first stint as a hairdresser

Posted on February 6, 2008 by alaherrera

For the longest time, Ramil and I have been nudging each other about what to do with Mateo’s hair. When our little boy was about ten months old, I started seeing scratches inside his ear. It seems that he made them whenever his hair would go inside his ears and tickle him. So even before he turned a year old, I’ve been itching to have a few snips of his hair. However, due to lack of hairdressing experience, Ramil and I kept pointing fingers at each other on who should do the cutting. When Mateo’s birthday came and went and still no haircut, we agreed to just let him grow his hair and keep it in a pony. This decision elicited a lot of suggestions from both set of grandparents to cut his hair. Hehe!

We’ve also considered bringing him to Cuts for Tots in The Block but when my sister inquired and told me that a haircut costs 280 pesos(!), I knew I’m going to have to force myself to be his hairdresser. So one boring afternoon, I whipped out our scissors and told Ramil that I will do the honors.

Here are some pictures of Mateo a few days before the haircut:

Mateo with a ponytail on his birthday

When we were getting ready for his haircut, I let him walk around while I start wetting and combing his hair. Afterwards, we placed his highchair in front of the TV and let him watch Barney. Mateo’s yaya was assigned to hold onto his arms and keep him from moving around while Ramil armed himself with our camera.

After getting his haircut, Mateo started looking like a little boy for real. He doesn’t look like a baby anymore. Wah! Everyone liked his new hair though so I’m designating myself as his very own hairdresser for now.

pool time

Posted on January 31, 2008 by alaherrera

One of the gifts that Mateo received for his birthday was a small wading pool. After his successful swim at Canyon Woods, we were excited to let him try a pool that’s just right for his size. A week ago, while Ramil was in school and I was about to give Mateo a bath, I thought of letting him use his new pool.

Ramil and I are both hoping that Mateo grows up loving the water so that maybe he can learn to be a better swimmer than me and Ramil. Hehe! He enjoyed splashing around in his pool so I think he’ll enjoy the beach more. I even bought some digging toys he can use when we go to the beach this March. I can’t wait to let his feet touch the sand and for him to see the waves on the beach!

are you doing a good job?

Posted on January 25, 2008 by alaherrera

Companies and employers usually do regular performance evaluations of their employees. These evaluations benefits not only the employers but the employees as well. For most companies, these determine their employees’ performance bonuses and/or salary increases and/or promotions. For the employees, these help them evaluate themselves. They can also rethink whether they would still like to stay with the company or not. This is when they ask themselves if they’re doing a good job.

Parenthood is also a job. Whether you’re a stay-at-home-mom, a working mom, a stay-at-home-dad, a working dad, or a single parent, it IS a job. But without any boss to answer to, do parents need to do regular performance evaluations? How often do they or should they ask themselves if they’re doing a good job?

Now that Mateo just turned one, I found myself evaluating my performance as a mother. I’m not talking about my emotional moods driven by hormones when I would question myself as a mother. I’m talking about objectively, reasonably evaluating how I’ve done on my first year.

Unfortunately, I realized that unlike employee performance evaluations, there’s really no questionnaire nor guideline that I can use. What does being a good mother mean? If it means having all the patience in the world, then considering all the times that I had to tell Ramil to ‘take him, take him’ for fear that I forget myself in the midst of my anger, does that mean that I’m a bad one? Does it mean being protective of your child or is it giving your child freedom to explore? Is it staying home to care for your child or working to be able to give your child a comfortable future? Is it being strict or letting your child do what he wants? I could go on and on and yet there’s just too many ways of being a mother.

I searched the internet for ‘what makes a good mother?’. I came across an article that gives credit to all kinds of mothers.

What makes a good mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you see your child disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 a.m., to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a school shooting, a fire, a car accident, a baby dying?

I also found an article from mamazine asking the same thing, who decides what makes a good mother? Even with just a year under my belt, several bumps and bruises on Mateo, Mateo’s early love for chocolate, and other small ‘unmotherly’ stuff, I refuse to call myself a bad mother. He wants me more than anyone else despite times when I would refuse what he wants so I guess that counts a bit. He’s technically the ‘boss’ anyway. He’s a thriving, happy baby so I guess that counts a lot.

So after sitting down and evaluating myself, all I know is I’m a mother and I love my boy to pieces. If that doesn’t make me a good one, I don’t know what would.

misbehavior as a way to get a parent’s attention

Posted on December 31, 2007 by alaherrera

Ramil and I were never the type of children who misbehaved to get our parents’ attention when we were growing up. I’m not saying we never misbehaved but we misbehaved for different reasons. Aside from seeing some evidences of this in some of our students, I never thought I’d find myself at the receiving end of the misbehavior. Most especially not with an 11-month-old!

Slowly over the past few months, I’ve noticed that Mateo would sometimes get really cranky and clingy whenever I’m doing something else. He’d get whiny whenever he’d see me on the laptop. He’d get clingy whenever I’m talking to somebody over the phone. He’d get cranky whenever I’m intently watching the TV. I found it amusing at first. My baby wants me all to himself. Flattering. But then again, it gave me less time for all the other things I want to do.

Then last week, I noticed a difference in the cranky, clingy, whiny baby that he’d usually morph into once he notices my attention on something else. After a few seconds of being cranky, clingy, and whiny, he’d start going for things that he knows are off limits. He’d play with the table centerpiece’s pebbles which he knew would solicit a resounding no. He’d pick up a pen which he knew would make me stop whatever I’m doing and would make me stare at him with an evil look in my eye. He’d sometimes go for the electric plugs which he knew would make me run to him as fast as I could. Hmm, the little devil is getting more devilish He is slowly learning how to get around some things and it’s making me go out of my mind. LOL.

After making these happenings, I told Ramil that I have finally personally experienced how it is to have your child misbehave just to get your attention. It was a small wake-up call for me. When I finally realized what he was doing, I closed my laptop, took his hand away from whatever it is he wasn’t supposed to touch, walked with him to the middle of the living room, and sat with him on the floor. I played with him and we spent quality time together. For a fleeting moment, I thought that maybe he’s getting too spoiled with attention or that he might consistently use misbehavior to get our attention. But then again, he’s barely a year old. For me, he can never get spoiled with too much attention, love, and care. He has proven many times that he’ll play and explore on his own if he wants to. There were times when he would walk away from me or when he would refuse to hold my hand so that he could walk on his own to whatever place in our house that he wants to go to.

My baby is growing up and he’s reminding me it doesn’t mean that I should pay him less attention. I’m glad for that wake-up call and I hope I learn to balance letting go and holding on while my son grows up.

on being sick and tired of my baby

Posted on December 11, 2007 by alaherrera

Okay, I feel guilty just typing the title. Nevertheless, it’s a confession I must make. It’s very difficult to make this post since mommy blogs are usually overflowing with feelings of motherliness and gushes for their babies. Still, I am sitting down right now to write a post on how I became sick and tired of my baby because I believe that I am not alone in this. I’d like to believe that I’m not the only imperfect mother out there. That yes, other mommies like me feels things like these.

Just like any relationship, the whole thing didn’t happen overnight. We were yaya-less two weeks ago and as soon as Ramil leaves for school, it was just me and Mateo. I enjoyed the whole week immensely. I got to spend a lot of time with my baby and I was delighted with how much he was learning from me. I’d like to think that the week did Mateo a lot of good too! Good enough for him to find his confidence and independence to be able to walk at the end of the week. I was one proud mama.

However, being yaya-less means baby duties plus house duties for me. I found myself finishing the laundry at 12 midnight one time, or I’d be doing the dishes from our breakfast only when Ramil gets home. Our meals consisted of easy-cook ones. Despite enjoying the week that I have my baby to myself, I was very, very tired by the end of the week. I’ve sung countless praises the whole week to other stay-at-home-moms who don’t keep a yaya nor a helper.

The following week, Cat, Mateo’s first yaya, came back. I was relieved that somebody can help me with housework and Mateo. I was supposed to go to school the whole week but ended up going for two days only because Mateo was having really bad diarrhea. I spent the rest of the week at home because I wanted to personally take care of my sick baby. Not to mention that he finds comfort with me. Taking care of him last week was really tiring. There were days when we’d have more than ten diaper changes. He’d cry from abdominal pain before each bowel movement and he had no appetite at all. It’s a good thing that aside from those things, he was an active and playful baby. Still, he has lost considerable weight by the end of the week.

So now, after two weeks of almost not having any time away from Mateo, I now have a clingy baby. He loves me more than any other person, much to Ramil’s dismay (hehe!). He even cries whenever he sees me leaving the room. Hence, he is now officially a mama’s boy Don’t get me wrong, I am very flattered but he’s starting to feel like an irritating stalker/admirer. There are times when I can’t even go to the bathroom without him wailing at the top of his lungs.

Yesterday, he was very clingy and was really out of sorts. I felt myself resenting it. I felt like he has all of me already, what more does he want? I’ve wanted to stop breastfeeding him since a few months ago but I never felt resentment for continuing to do so. Last night though, I was ready to let him cry it out until he falls asleep. It didn’t help that Ramil would expect me to rush to their rescue whenever he couldn’t handle Mateo anymore.

I found it difficult to sleep last night. I felt like a bad mother. I questioned myself. I felt so sorry for Mateo because he got me for his mama. I woke up today not feeling better at all.

Sometime today though, I got my second wind. I fell in love with my boy all over again. Nothing spectacular happened. It just happened. Maybe it was during one of our bonding times or when he gave me one of his winning smiles. I don’t really know.

All I know is that despite everything, I love being a mother. I know that there will be more down days in the future and I hope Mateo will be as forgiving as he is now. I also know that for each down day, I will fall in love with my boy more times than I can count. I know I will learn and I know I will get better. Bring it on.

pearly gifts

Posted on December 6, 2007 by alaherrera

I’ve been racking my brains for the perfect Christmas gift for my mom. Ever since I became a mom, I understood more how much my mother went through for me. Thinking that she took care of me the way I’m taking care of Mateo made me realize how much mothers love their children. I am more grateful than ever that she’s my mother. So I want to give her an extra special Christmas gift. Usually, I’d just buy her a book or a bag, safe gifts for her. This year however, I’m thinking of giving her pearl earrings. For the longest time, she has been telling me that she’d love to have real pearls on her ears. This just might be the perfect time to make her wish come true. I just hope I get to save enough for those whites

flattered post blush

Posted on November 24, 2007 by alaherrera

It feels nice to be called sexy and beautiful by somebody other than my husband, LOL. Litzie, an equally sexy and beautiful gal, gave me these two awards that totally tickled me pink.

Thanks a bunch Litzie dear! And I’m giving these two awards to all the mommies out there! Because being a mommy means being sexy and beautiful

our little young boy

Posted on November 20, 2007 by alaherrera

These past few weeks, I’ve been so senti. I’d look at my baby and think that he’s not a baby anymore! He’s looking more and more like a little boy with each passing day.

Looking at his pictures could bring such feeling of longing for the small, dependent baby that I use to have. I’m beginning to think that I’ll turn out to be a really emotional and weepy mama on my boy’s special occasions. Dyahe!

Now, he even makes pa-cute at the camera…

Haaay, babies really grow up so fast.

mommy talks

Posted on November 11, 2007 by alaherrera

I got a really nice tag from Litzie. I've been reading this tag on a lot of mommy blogs lately and I've thought of doing it then. The only problem is, I can never seem to find the time to do it AND nobody was tagging me. Haha! So thanks Litzie, for giving me an excuse to finally answer this myself.

1. What food did you crave when you were pregnant? During my first trimester, what I had were foods I didn't like. Ramil had a very hard time looking for the food that I will eat because most of the time, when it is served already, I wouldn't feel like eating it anymore. But I remember an instance when we found something that works, Pizza Hut's Fettucine Alfredo. I was so happy with it, it's almost the only thing I ate for a week.

2. Did you gain a lot of weight when you were pregnant? I gained around 35 pounds during the whole duration of my pregnancy. If I remember correctly, it's still within limit of the appropriate weight gain.

3. Did you drink milk when you were pregnant? I was a milk lover even before I got pregnant and good thing I still liked drinking it even during my pregnancy. Sometime in my fifth month though, I reduced my milk intake because I was gaining weight fast. My ob told me to lay off the milk for a while. Haha!

4. How long did you stay in the labor room before your delivery? I was in the labor room for a little over seven hours. We arrived at St. Luke's at around 5:30 am and then Mateo came out at around 1:30 pm. My water bag broke early at home, around 2 am, so when I reached active labor, it went pretty much quickly.

5. Did you have epidural during labor? No, I had spinal anesthesia or saddle block instead. It was very similar to epidural except that it was a one-time injection to my lower back and then I didn't have an epidural catheter the whole time.

6. How did you give birth? Normal Spontaneous Delivery. We even planned to do lamaze but due to miscommunications and since my water bag broke early, we weren't able to push through with it.

7. What was your first reaction when you heard your baby's cry and saw him/her for the first time? I didn't really feel weepy but I felt like being handed a gift I have waited for a long time. I was so excited when they gave him to me. The doctor handed him to me and told me, 'eto na baby mo'. I answered with a 'hello baby' then I kissed him and I remember wondering why he has curly hair (which I later learned only looked curly because of the wetness and all) even though Ramil and I have straight hairs. Upon seeing him for the first time, I also immediately thought that he has Ramil's lips, which I wanted him to get so I was happy.

8. Prior to that moment when you first held your baby, did you know how to carry a newborn? I've tried holding my cousin when she was still a newborn though it's been years ago and I haven't really held a baby in such a long time. I was never worried about this aspect though, I know it will be second nature even to a new mother. True enough, I never felt any awkwardness when I first held him.

9. Did you take a bath after your deliver? I took a bath a week after I gave birth. I would have wanted to, earlier but we were staying in my parents' house and my mama was adamant that I let at least a week go by before taking a bath. Ramil and I were even supposed to attend a wedding five days after I gave birth. I was mentally set to go but my mama was ready to lock the bathroom doors just to prevent me from taking a bath. I took pity on other guests and decided to just send our apologies

10. How was your first night with your baby like? Mateo's first time at home was a breastfeeding struggle. A few hours after arriving from the hospital, he was rooting for a nipple so I excitedly prepared to breastfeed. We were already successful at breastfeeding even in the hospital, he was latching well, and so I didn't think it would be difficult. Unfortunately, it seems that my milk at the time was still insufficient for him so he'd cry whenever I'd remove him from my breast. The first was spent on hours of breastfeeding and crying sessions. My nipples were really hurting from too much sucking from him but he still didn't seem satisfied. We had to resort to buying formula milk and one small bottle (I didn't bring any because I was optimistic about bfing him) in the middle of the night just to let my nipples have a little break. When he finally got his fill of milk, he slept fitfully and we took turns watching our little angel sleep.

12. If you were to pick just one moment from the time you gave birth until the moment you were discharged from the hospital, which do you think is the most special moment for you? I would have to say the first time that Mateo successfully latched at my breast. It was pure joy and awe.

Since most mommies have done this already, I think I have nobody else to tag. Haha!

crazy mama

one plus one makes three

Category Archives: Motherhood