Category Archives: Marriage

some crazy shopping

Posted on by
2
… is what I need. Shopping is therapy for any girl. Buying nice things, even if they're for other people, has never failed to make me feel a bit good especially if the money spent for it is something I can afford to lose. 
Unfortunately, I've haven't done some crazy, therapeutic shopping for quite some time. Lack of money to do this is the only reason. Just yesterday, my sister and I went to the mall to buy birthday gifts for Ramil. We were able to look at some clothes also and I suddenly missed buying loads of them for myself. We looked at some dresses we might be able to wear to a wedding we will be attending, some looked liked some celebrity clothing. I was able to find a really pretty green halter dress. Problem is, it costs five thousand pesos! Unless I'm able to find some unnamed wallet with loads of cash in it, I could only wish I could buy it. 
A visit to the mall is never complete anymore if we don't stop by the baby department. We were able to look at baby toys. I bought a squeaky hippopotamus in pink, yellow, and blue colors, which my sister named Gloria, for Mateo. Boy, did he like it! He kept on looking at it and trying to touch it. He would crinkle his forehead whenever the toy squeaks. I would have wanted to buy more toys for him but even if we have the money, Ramil doesn't want to. He wants Mateo to focus and play with toys one at a time. Having handled kids with ADD and ADHD, we wouldn't want Mateo to have problems being attentive. 
The last thing we bought were Ramil's gift and his birthday cake. I wanted to buy him a new cellphone but again, I didn't have enough funds for it. With our laptop's cd drive malfunctioning, I decided to buy him a usb flash drive so he wouldn't have difficulty bringing files along with him in school. My sister also bought him a striped yellow polo shirt. 
I guess it may not be the kind of shopping I used to do but it was relaxing nonetheless. Hopefully, we get to do this more often.

eating out

Posted on by
Reply

Ramil and I used to love eating out. Before getting married, we'd usually eat dinner together at SM North everyday except weekends. You could only imagine how much we've spent eating out. When we got married, we'd also eat out frequently. Most of the time, it's because we don't want to prepare anything at home.

I guess it's pretty safe to say that we will always find eating out a treat for us. We dream of having the luxury of trying out Paris cafes, San Diego restaurants, Sydney bars, Mexican diners, and other places where we could try out new food and ambience. Unfortunately, when Mateo arrived, we found ourselves unable to eat out during the first few months. Now that Mateo is bigger, we are slowly incorporating this small luxury of ours into our new life.

We still find it difficult though, Mateo can sometimes get fussy in a crowded and noisy environment. One of our considerations now for choosing a place to eat is whether it is 'baby-friendly'. Meaning, not too many people, not too noisy, has enough space for the stroller, or better yet, a booth with nice, soft seats so we can put a blanket and lay Mateo down. It seems that Mateo will grow up learning all about the fun of eating out.

a woman behind every man…

Posted on by
2

Ramil and I have ended our movie hiatus last Saturday. After two years of not having stepped a foot inside a movie theater, we decided to celebrate our 15 months of married life by watching 300. I must say that we chose a worthy movie to watch.

I've heard and read a lot of raves about the movie, from the amazing Spartan soldiers to the fabulous digital effects. I agree with all of them. Beyond the gory and yet ballet-like fight scenes, I find it amusing that one of the strongest character in a movie raining with sculptured men in all their hard rock glory is a woman.

"Because only Spartan women gives birth to strong Spartan men". This was the response of the Spartan queen when the Persian messenger became so indignant with her joining the conversation. Before Leonidas pushed the messenger over the big 'pit', he looked at his wife and silently asked for her agreement. At the end of the movie, although was not present in the battlefield, the queen accomplished one of the biggest victories in the story – killing and exposing the traitor.

I am not a feminist but while the movie reeks of testosterone power, it presented women as having a strong place in a society such as those of the Spartans. Although the women were left at home to tend to housework and the children, their men acknowledge that their women are definitely not wimps. It's a wonderful kind of equality that does not require women to be as callous as men (hehe). It allows women to be strong and yet retain the natural tendency of most to be soft and gentle. A movie like this makes me feel great. Let's celebrate being strong women! ;)

a wife and a mother

Posted on by
Reply
Right now, I am simply two things: a wife and a mother. I cannot even call myself a teacher because I am currently on maternity leave. My days these past few months has been all about struggling to be a decent mother to Mateo and a still-fumbling wife to Ramil.

A lot has changed ever since I left the world of singlehood. I have to admit that the changes in my life these past two years has made it difficult for me to relate to my life as a free person. My preoccupation before with the new restaurants to try out and new gadgets or clothes to buy, were replaced with musings on what to make for dinner and when to schedule the bathroom-cleaning, which were further replaced with anticipation for Mateo's smiles and antics. When Ramil and I were still single, mall sales would have us trooping to the clothing shops, shoes shops, sports apparel shops, etc. When we got married, we started visiting appliance and furniture shops during these mall sales. Finally, the sale at SM Fairview last weekend had us visiting the baby shops and baby section of the department store.Although I still find talking to single people, including young people like my students, very engaging, I now find myself having a lot to talk about with the older group of people. I am welcomed warmly by the 'motherhood' club – women who are only too happy to share their stories and tips on motherhood.It has been a roller-coaster ride for me somehow. Different worlds are being opened up to me. Right now, I may not have anything to myself except being a wife and a mother but that's all I want to be at the moment. Until the next challenge life has to offer.

reminders for myself

Posted on by
3
I’ve been feeling down lately. Blame it on all the changes happening around us. I feel like I need a break. I know the break is not going to come so the best option would be to remind myself of some things that might have been lost on me amidst all the nitty-gritty of baby and house duties.

1.) We want to have a baby and now we have one. One of the reasons why Ramil and I got married a bit early (we both just turned 24 when we tied the knot) than what we originally planned for is a baby. No, it’s not because I was pregnant but because we wanted to get pregnant earlier than scheduled also. I found out I have PCOS (I have a polycystic left ovary) more than a year before we got married. Ramil keeps on reminding me of this the past few days. He would refresh my memory during the wee hours of the morning and Mateo is being extra fussy, times when I would question why the hell we decided to have a baby. Sometimes taking care of a baby is so difficult I find myself losing patience more than usual. It’s so much easier when Ramil is around, he always finds something for me to smile about or to laugh about. Even when it’s the middle of the night and our bed is all messed up with weewee and poopoo (I always choose to change Mateo on our bed and we always forget about the armed and dangerous little birdie). Don’t get me wrong, my heart melts everytime I look at Mateo’s peaceful face, everytime he looks quietly at me, everytime he makes energetic movements with his arms and legs, everytime he shares another one of his facial expressions, but sometimes everything seems too much that the thought of giving up crosses my mind more than once.
Reminder to self: Look beyond the baby duties. He is MY baby.

2. Being on our own is our choice. We have gotten numerous unsolicited advices from people around us that doing everything on our own would be difficult. Well, they could say that again! Now that Ramil is going to work again, I sometimes feel trapped in our situation. I told Ramil the other night that it would be nice to have someone do the household chores for us. I find myself stressing about chores I wasn’t able to do whenever Mateo is taking up too much of my time. I need to tell myself that this is our choice, we didn’t want a helper with us because it’s so difficult to find a good one and the house we’re renting right now is just enough for us. We don’t really feel comfortable sharing our life with someone we don’t trust yet right now.
Reminder to self: To hell with the chores. No one is going to complain if I don’t do them (except me, hehe).

3. Staying home is my choice. Sometimes I find myself mourning over the ‘old me’. The one that has work, the one that gets to go out of the house everyday, the one that does a lot of things aside from being a mommy, the one who gets to do anything anytime. I’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom but now that I am, I find myself missing things that belong to a working one. Before I gave birth, I looked forward to days when I would stay at home the whole day with our bundle of joy. My reasons for wanting to stay home are still there, I just have to learn to focus on them.
Reminder to self: Staying home beats deadlines, traffic, work stress, ratty kids, etc.

4. I will go back to my old self. In terms of my weight and size, that is. Thank goodness I’m losing weight really fast. Just needs to work on the tummy. Pretty soon, I should be able to fit into my old jeans.
Reminder to self: Exercise!

Things are going to get better I just know it.

in love

Posted on by
Reply

With my boys.

These two people have been making my day lately. I only have to look at them to know that God has blessed me with so much. Nevermind that we’re not as financially comfortable as we want to. I have all the riches I’ll ever need.

dry run

Posted on by
Reply
I have been officially on maternity leave since this Monday. Which actually means I’ve been home alone also for most of the week. With no one to talk to, I found myself thinking about how it would be like if I am able to push through with my plans to be a stay-at-home mom. Since Ramil and I are living on our own (with no househelp!) and our families a far 1-2 hour drive away, our home situation has been a constant inquiry from other people aware of our situation.

I originally planned to work until contractions start coming. Since Ramil and I work together, it sounded more sensible to continue going to work rather than being alone at home. However, I overestimated myself as a teacher or rather I underestimated the work of a teacher. I found myself very stressed during the latter months of ’06. The physical demands of a teacher was nothing to me but the emotional and mental demands were another thing. I found myself being so stressed because I had so much work I wanted to do, both at home and in school, that I couldn’t seem to do. I wasn’t as fast and as sharp I guess because my body and mind were too preoccupied with the pregnancy. So by December ’06, I finally told our Center Director that I wanted to take my leave by January. So now Ramil’s cellphone is his constant companion even while conducting a class, hehe!

Whenever people ask me what our plans are when the baby comes, I always tell them that after giving birth, we plan to spend 2 weeks in my parents’ house in Quezon City and then we are going back to our place in Taytay. They would usually ask me who will be staying with me and the baby. I always get an open-eyed look whenever I tell them that we don’t plan to get any help (and a lot of unsolicited insights/advice that it will be difficult not to have anyone with me). Very encouraging! I realize how big an adjustment it would be but I’ve always been the type who likes to try out things for myself first. Both future lolas are almost insisting that it is NOT so okay to be left at home with just the baby with me. I think they are just trying to brainwash us into moving back to QC, sometimes telling us outright to move in back with them, ha! I always tell my mama that I would ask for help if somewhere along the way, I feel the need to.

So the past few days have been a trial period for me, a dry run. I would spend the day doing household chores: doing the laundry, cleaning the house, cooking, etc. I would also walk around the subdivision for around 30 minutes after Ramil leaves for work. I am also able to find nap time (1-2 hours) during the day. I still find myself physically tired but relaxed, emotionally and mentally. And I now feel optimistic about being a stay-at-home mom. I know a baby takes up a lot of time but if I enjoy being a wife-at-home surely, it would be more enjoyable having Mateo with me.

our anniversary celebration kwento

Posted on by
3
Around a year ago, Ramil and I had grand plans of celebrating our 1st year as husband and wife. We wanted to go somewhere and celebrate our anniversary by going on a 2nd honeymoon. Unfortunately, this idea wasn’t put into action because of the third person on the way. I was right smack in the middle of my eight month on December 17 and so any wishful thoughts of traveling automatically get scratched. Even my suggestion of a weekend in Tagaytay got vetoed by my dear hubby :( So I’ve assigned Ramil to come up with something that would pass off as a celebration of sorts.

Having heard a horror story from one of our ninangs about her husband forgetting their 1st year anniversary and being the realistic me, I wasn’t expecting surprises or anything like that. I told Ramil that a dinner at some nice place would be good enough for us for this year. We’ve wanted to try the Vivere Skyline at Vivere Suites for a long time now but we never had the time and chance to go there. So Plan A was set… a nice dinner at this fancy place. Ramil, however, (being the driver) brought up the issue of the distance. We live in Rizal and Vivere is located in Alabang… hmmm. He’s not very comfortable with long travel hours for us because I might actually start having contractions anytime and that the long travel might be very uncomfortable for me.

So moving on to Plan B… dinner at Seven Suites, a hotel observatory in Antipolo. We heard that the place has an awesome view of the lights above (stars) and the lights below (city lights). Somewhere in the planning though, I had this urge to just go somewhere to relax. Being very busy, we haven’t cleaned the house in weeks so I told Ramil it would be really great to just go to a place where we can forget about our mess, hehe! The overnight package at Seven Suites that comes with dinner and breakfast was beyond our budget considering that we’ve read mixed reviews on the hotel.

With the holiday season, I know that hotels usually have promos during these times. So we scouted for any hotel that would let us enjoy a mess-free, fully airconditioned hotel room that comes with all the usual nice things like cable-tv, hot water in the showers, etc. for a cheaper price. We ended up booking a room at the Richmonde hotel. They have this holiday promo which is really affordable compared to other hotels we’ve scouted. Basically, we ended up celebrating our anniversary being lazy in our hotel room, malling at Megamall and Podium, and having dinner at Burgoo. Ramil and I haven’t been able to relax like that in such a long time. I must say that it was a perfect way of celebrating our anniversary. After being together for a year, being on our own, doing chores around the house, we totally appreciated 24 hours of being pampered and not caring about anything at all. We now plan to do this more often (if our finances would let us splurge from time to time) especially if we have Mateo at home with us already. I’m pretty sure times like that will seem more precious to us. The stay was also very reminiscent of our wedding day since we stayed at the Linden Suites, a few meters from Richmonde, for our wedding preparations. The night before our wedding, Ramil and I were also malling in Megamall, walking in Ortigas center, enjoying the christmasy feeling in the air, and anticipating the next day. In other words, we did exactly the same things a year after but without the stress (of wedding preparations) and with me walking with less gracefulness and agility because of our little angel inside me.

renewal

Posted on by
7
“Ramil, I still can’t believe we’re here now. Everything that we’ve planned and wished for are already happening. We’ve been through a lot, I never would have thought 15 years ago that you would be the man God wants me to be with. You’ve changed from being my classmate to being my best friend and to being the love of my life. You’re the one person who can make me laugh the hardest and who can really make me happy. The person who really understands me and knows me and yet still accept everything about me – both the best and the worst. I’ve found such a perfect match in you it’s not hard to see God’s hand in this. As we stand here today in front of God and all the important people in our lives, I promise to love you all the days of our lives, I will love you on days when everything is perfect and going well and I will love you even on days when it would be difficult to love you. I promise to share my thoughts and feelings with you, to never shut you out, to keep an open line of communication, to be willing to compromise, to swallow my pride, to meet you halfway. I promise to accept and respect you and our differences, to always keep in mind that our differences should never make us love each other less. I promise to be a loving and caring wife, to give you all my best and not ask of you what you cannot give. I will do everything to protect this marriage and to make it stronger and I will always remain faithful. Time will come when we will be wrinkled and old, when I will not look like the girl you fell in love with but rest assured that I will still hold your hand and I will still be happy and I will still be loving you fully, completely, and unconditionally.”

Andrea to Ramil
17 December 2005
Sta. Maria Della Strada Parish

minispin

Posted on by
Reply

This is our new toy.

I never thought I would be so excited by an item so….domesticated as the minispin.


Ever since we got married, Ramil and I would have our laundry done by a nearby laundry shop. This usually costs us around 250-300 every week. For the past 2 weeks, we’ve been bringing our laundry all the way to my parents’ house in Novaliches and ask our helper to do it for us. We would pay her 200 pesos but she would always only accept the 100 pesos. With the addition to our small family coming this January (and being the delicate little beings babies tend to be), we realized we couldn’t keep on asking other people (laundry shop or parents’ helper) to do the dirty work for us. Plus, we would need to do the laundry more than once a week so that the baby always has clean clothes.

We were watching a local channel (ABC5) last week when we happened upon their own version of Home TV Shopping. There we chanced upon the temporary answer to our prayers. Ramil and I wanted to buy an automatic washing machine originally but we deemed it an unnecessary expense right now. Plus, we wanted a machine that would let us do small washes since we don’t consume a lot of clothes in a few days.

The minispin is a cute little thing now outside our bathroom. It’s so small, it can only wash 2 kg of clothes per load. In effect, it doesn’t make the chore that heavy. Did I mention that it also has a dryer too? Damn, I’m turning into a wife and mommy ;)