I’m off to a good start this school year. Still not as great as I would want it to be but good enough especially since we’ve got a spanking, newly-constructed, air-conditioned teachers’ lounge. My little pleasures as a teacher are my own personal space and an air-conditioned place I could stay in during breaks. Certainly puts me in a good disposition. Everything looks nice now in our lounge, everyone has their own cubicle and despite some CAT6 cables scattered here and there, the place is pretty much organized.

On another note, it’s such a relief that Mateo and the new yaya are getting along great. Sometimes too great, much to my dismay. I guess it’s just the jealous mama in me, which I’m trying to squish by the way. Mateo would definitely be better off if they fall in love with each other. They’re now certified playmates and sometimes, Mateo would call out her name as if asking to be saved whenever Ramil and I are berating him for some naughty deed. He’s also adjusting well to being in school everyday. It’s good that out of his 5-6 hours stay in school, 2 hours is spent on nap time. Also, his social skills are now superb. He’d willingly say hi even to students he doesn’t even know. It’s also great for him to always be surrounded by teachers. I am so grateful for our co-teachers, they also make it a point to converse with him and check on him whenever they see him around school. I’d even often catch some of them teaching him things and some tricks.

So yes, after weeks of terrible adjustment, we’re all okay now (I think). I’m optismistic about the next few weeks and months ahead. I just need to remember to keep my thoughts and actions positive.

Ever since I’ve been reporting for work full-time, Mateo has been a regular schoolgoer too. Ramil’s work hours are from 7am to 3pm while mine is 9am to 5pm. Mateo and the yaya goes to school with me at 9am while they go home with Ramil at 3pm. Since our house is just a mere 5-minute drive from school, he’s adjusting well to the set-up. Although I cried for several nights over our time together that will be lost, I’m lucky that I still get to see him at least every 30 minutes whenever we’re in school. My little boy is growing up so fast, it’s so easy to get sentimental lately. I even fixed a lot of his baby clothes last weekend so I can keep them in the cabinet because they don’t fit him anymore. He’s such a talker now and would sometimes easily say phrases. He also likes to sing with me even though he’d only end up singing the last words of each line of a song. I still worry that we might be ‘sending’ him to school early, though we’ve noticed a big improvement on his social skills. Here’s a picture of my boy from two weeks ago, definitely not a baby anymore.

]]> http://www.alaherrera.com/2008/06/updates/feed/ 0 http://www.alaherrera.com/2008/06/going-full-time/ http://www.alaherrera.com/2008/06/going-full-time/#comments Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:28:25 +0000 alaherrera http://www.alaherrera.com/?p=618 Continue reading →]]> When I was still pregnant with Mateo, I was sure I wanted to be the one to take care of him. I left the decision of resigning up in the air and thought of not making a decision until things settle down and everything is clearer. I gave birth on a January, which actually leaves two more school months for me. Since the two months maternity leave would end just when classes has ended, I decided to simply resign.

Since I gave birth last January 2007 until May 2007, it was just Ramil, Mateo, and me. No helper, no yaya, no nearby relatives to help us out. We were on our own and we were proud first-timers. When May drew to a close, however, I played around with the idea of teaching on a part-time basis. Although I love staying home with Mateo, I missed teaching and I missed the kids. It was more than just a job for me and that’s when I realized that I want to be a teacher for a long time, that it’s the work I want to do. So I made arrangements with the school, found and trained a yaya for Mateo, then started teaching once again when June came. My classes were from 1:30-4:00 pm, giving me just around three hours away from my baby. The arrangement worked perfectly. I was able to do two things that I love, being a mother and teaching.

The school year ended with some people in school asking if I’m willing to work on a full-time basis this coming school year. A lot of math teachers resigned and it would help a lot if I can work longer hours. It was a seesaw of arguments with myself during the summer months. Ramil and I tried to think of a system we could use to accommodate a full-time workload for me. When Mateo’s yaya left and then sent a text message that she won’t be returning anymore, I wanted to go full-time – as a mom. Since I already expressed my intent to work as a part-time teacher, I was left with no choice but to look for a yaya. The yaya hunt almost left me looking like I took a lot of weight loss pills with the stress I was feeling. Good thing we found one, I just hope we found a good one.

Last weekend, Ramil and I was able to agree on a schedule for us – his work hours will be from 7:30 am to 3:30 pm while my work hours will be from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, both of us working full-time. After much consideration, including our financial state, we’ve finally decided that I’ll be going back to teaching full-time. It was a hard decision. I’ve cried about it every night after informing the school about it last Monday. If I let myself dwell on what it entails, I’d start feeling this ache in my heart and I would feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching and I am actually excited to once again be a part of the school. I will miss the times though when it was just Mateo and me at home. I will miss doing everything for him and with him. My only consolation is that I will be bringing Mateo and the yaya with me in school. They will be staying in the library until the daycare center the school is planning is usable already. It’s a good thing that Mateo loves going around the school and that he knows almost everyone in school already. I get to visit him anytime during the day. At least we still get to see each other even though I am technically at work.

I just really pray that he and the yaya get along really well soon. They’re okay right now but it would ease my mind big time once they love each other already. I really hope that Mateo adjusts to the set-up really well. I can’t believe he now ‘goes to school’ from 9:00am to 3:00pm. Beats any pre-school student. And to think he’s only a year and four months old. I don’t know whether to be proud of my boy for being so ‘grown-up’ about it or to cry because it seems that he’s not a baby anymore. I hope that when classes start we all won’t be stressed with the arrangements. I really hope too that Mateo knows I love him just as much even if we’re going to spend less time together.

]]> http://www.alaherrera.com/2008/06/going-full-time/feed/ 0 http://www.alaherrera.com/2008/05/love-for-balls/ http://www.alaherrera.com/2008/05/love-for-balls/#comments Fri, 23 May 2008 22:48:35 +0000 alaherrera http://www.alaherrera.com/?p=610 Continue reading →]]> Ever since Mateo was smaller, he loves balls more than any other toy. We first introduced him to a small bag of soft balls. It has a basketball, a football, a soccer ball, and a baseball. He loved them so much that he’d call anything round a ball. ‘Bah’ is his first word aside from ‘dada’, even before he was able to say ‘mama’. Even heavy golf balls would interest him.

Ramil has dreams of making him into a ball player, be it a basketball player or a soccer player. Until now, balls are a weakness for Mateo. When we went to Bora last March, Mateo refused to step foot on the sand. Only a soccer ball being played by another one of the hotel’s guest enticed him to do so. He’d willingly go with anyone who has a ball for him and a ball could stop tantrums.

A few weeks after his first introduction to balls, we introduced him to toy cars. Although he was intrigued by them, especially by the wheels, his interest for balls in unmatched. He has a lot of different toys now but he would always have his fondness for balls. I guess in this case, first love never dies huh?

Slowly over the past few months, I’ve noticed that Mateo would sometimes get really cranky and clingy whenever I’m doing something else. He’d get whiny whenever he’d see me on the laptop. He’d get clingy whenever I’m talking to somebody over the phone. He’d get cranky whenever I’m intently watching the TV. I found it amusing at first. My baby wants me all to himself. Flattering. But then again, it gave me less time for all the other things I want to do.

Then last week, I noticed a difference in the cranky, clingy, whiny baby that he’d usually morph into once he notices my attention on something else. After a few seconds of being cranky, clingy, and whiny, he’d start going for things that he knows are off limits. He’d play with the table centerpiece’s pebbles which he knew would solicit a resounding no. He’d pick up a pen which he knew would make me stop whatever I’m doing and would make me stare at him with an evil look in my eye. He’d sometimes go for the electric plugs which he knew would make me run to him as fast as I could. Hmm, the little devil is getting more devilish He is slowly learning how to get around some things and it’s making me go out of my mind. LOL.

After making these happenings, I told Ramil that I have finally personally experienced how it is to have your child misbehave just to get your attention. It was a small wake-up call for me. When I finally realized what he was doing, I closed my laptop, took his hand away from whatever it is he wasn’t supposed to touch, walked with him to the middle of the living room, and sat with him on the floor. I played with him and we spent quality time together. For a fleeting moment, I thought that maybe he’s getting too spoiled with attention or that he might consistently use misbehavior to get our attention. But then again, he’s barely a year old. For me, he can never get spoiled with too much attention, love, and care. He has proven many times that he’ll play and explore on his own if he wants to. There were times when he would walk away from me or when he would refuse to hold my hand so that he could walk on his own to whatever place in our house that he wants to go to.

My baby is growing up and he’s reminding me it doesn’t mean that I should pay him less attention. I’m glad for that wake-up call and I hope I learn to balance letting go and holding on while my son grows up.

Looking at his pictures could bring such feeling of longing for the small, dependent baby that I use to have. I’m beginning to think that I’ll turn out to be a really emotional and weepy mama on my boy’s special occasions. Dyahe!

Now, he even makes pa-cute at the camera…

Haaay, babies really grow up so fast.